Finding and Working with a Mentor

By Susan Gray Foster

My mentor and co-mentor, Mónica, and I met up on a beach in Florida.

Pitch Wars 2016 is just around the corner! One of the best features of the Pitch Wars contest is that writers get the opportunity to work with mentors who help them strengthen their manuscripts before submitting to agents. Best of all, writers can choose which mentors to apply to. That way, if they are selected as mentees, they know they’ll be working with someone whose opinions they value.

So how does one go about deciding which mentors to apply to, and how, exactly does having a Pitch Wars mentor work?

Since I had the tremendous good fortune to be selected as a mentee in 2014 and as a co-mentor in 2015, I thought I could share some tips from both sides of the Pitch Wars experience.

***Opinions are mine; please refer to Brenda Drake’s website for all official Pitch Wars rules, information, and guidelines.***

How to choose

The process begins when mentors’ wish lists go live on July 20. Brenda’s website will have links to all the mentor blogs, and each mentor will post a brief bio and detailed information about what categories and genres they are seeking, taste preferences, expectations, and other useful tidbits. So, of course step one is to read the mentor wish lists!

You will definitely want to take notes, and using a spreadsheet or some sort of organizational system will help track mentor information. You can immediately narrow your mentor list to those seeking the category and genre you write. (Seems obvious, but there are always a few wasted entries submitted to someone not mentoring that genre.) If a mentor mentions special interest in something specific that your manuscript has (could be horses, a particular period setting, LGBTQ, rare fairy tale retellings, etc.), that’s a strong indicator that they might be a good choice for you. Mentor wishlists may also discuss mentoring style, and you may get a sense of personality. In addition, some mentors take part in Workshops (on Brenda’s website), and Live Chats. These are great sources of information about the mentors and their styles and personalities.

Stalking Researching

Once you have a “short list” of potential mentors who are seeking the type of manuscript you’re writing, you will probably want to do a bit of stalking on twitter and/or other social media sites and blogs to find out more. You can check out any books mentors have published or that will be coming out, who their agents are, and who they’ve mentored in previous years. All these tidbits may leave your head spinning, which is where a good note-keeping system can be a huge help.

Finally, for mentors who have been involved with Pitch Wars (or other contests) in previous years, I highly recommend checking out their previous entries. This is what lead me to apply to the person who ultimately became my mentor (and now co-mentor) Mónica Bustamante Wagner. I loved the writing and concept of her previous year’s entry, and I figured that if we had similar taste in that respect, then there was a better chance that she would like my manuscript. Furthermore, I felt I could confidently rely on her judgement, knowing that she had similar values in terms of story and writing style.

Now what?

So you’ve applied to carefully-selected mentors, and you’ve waited through the grueling weeks until the mentor picks are revealed, and—HURRAY!!—you’ve been selected as a Pitch Wars finalist! Now your mentor will provide you with feedback to help you take your manuscript to the next level.

I was beyond thrilled when I received feedback from my mentor, Mónica; I knew, immediately, that she had discovered the key to fixing an issue that had been plaguing my manuscript and preventing me from moving forward.

Communication

But what if your mentor suggests something you don’t agree with? At some point in the revision process, Mónica advised me that my characters “laughed” too much and suggested that I could substitute the word, “chuckle.” But, for me, the word, “chuckle” has very specific connotations: an old man can chuckle, but my MC would never chuckle! The word didn’t fit my manuscript’s voice, in my opinion. Timidly, I explained this to Mónica. And of course she replied with something like, “Okay, no problem, just find other ways to fix your overuse of ‘laugh.’”

I believe communication is the key to a successful mentor-mentee relationship. Don’t understand a suggestion? Communicate. Wondering when you’ll get notes? Communicate. Disagree with something? Communicate. Confused by what other mentees are saying? Communicate. Completely and utterly freaking out about everything? Communicate.

Respect

At the same time, mentors have varying communication styles and schedules, and it’s also important to be respectful of your mentor’s time. Communicating every time you’re unsure of where to put a comma would probably be a bit much.

Your mentor selected your manuscript from among the many they received, and they are volunteering their time because they believe in you and your manuscript and want to help you move forward with your writing dreams. By respecting your mentor’s time and effort, and communicating honestly, you can make the most of your Pitch Wars experience.

Questions or tips about finding and working with a mentor? Please add a comment!

Four Qualities of Good Writing

by Susan Gray Foster

What are the fundamental qualities of good writing?

Many years ago, as a brand new student teacher, I discovered at the last moment that I would be teaching creative writing to at-risk teens at an alternative high school. Luckily, I stumbled across a text called WRITING PROCESS ACTIVITIES KIT by Mary Lou Brandvik. This curriculum (now long out of print) promotes utilizing steps of the writing process (prewriting, drafting, revising, and presenting), and emphasizes four key qualities of good writing.

The book focuses primarily on writing personal narratives (true short stories from students’ own lives), but these fundamental qualities apply to many types of writing, and definitely to writing fiction. I learned so much teaching these qualities to student writers. And now that I am teaching again, it’s a continual refresher course as I witness how powerful writing can be when it exhibits these qualities.

Have a guess—what are four fundamental qualities of good writing?

Focus

One is focus. In writing personal narratives, students are encouraged to focus on one particular time, experience, memory, and to make the reader “see” it. Instead of vague generalizations such as, “I love my mom and I’m really going to miss her,” focusing on a particular moment and experience can produce something like this brief passage from one my favorite YA novels, ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS, by Stephanie Perkins:

My mother lingers behind. “You’ll have a wonderful year here,” she says. “I just know it.” I bite my lip to keep it from quivering, and she sweeps me into her arms. I try to breathe. Inhale. Count to three. Exhale. Her skin smells like grapefruit body lotion.

Focusing on this small moment allows the reader to experience it right along with the main character, and to feel what she is feeling.

Specific Details

Another quality of good writing that is beautifully illustrated by the above passage is use of specific details. Specific verb choices such as “lingers” and “sweeps” help us picture the scene. Specific details make characters, worlds, thoughts, and emotions come alive. Bonus points for use of sensory details, which are specific details pertaining to the perceptions of our five senses—not just the sense of sight, which most of us tend to naturally rely on and use most frequently in our writing. Including details that the other senses perceive—such as the scent of “grapefruit body lotion” can have a powerful impact.

Showing

A third quality of good writing, one that is often discussed and sometimes causes confusion for fiction writers, is showing, rather than telling. Writing that is focused and uses specific details already has a high probability of showing, not telling. Writing that shows puts a picture in the reader’s mind, engages the reader, and makes them feel emotions right along with the characters(s) in the story. In the passage above from ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS, specific details about Anna’s body language convey that she is on the verge of tears without ever having to name an emotion. Often if we check our writing for words that name emotions, such as happy, angry, or jealous, we can find opportunities to replace these words and show the reader what the character is feeling, using specific details, rather than naming that emotion. Similarly, checking writing for “filter words”—such as think, feel, wonder, remember—can help us find places where we can show the reader our character’s thoughts and feelings, rather than telling the reader about them. This is not to say that these filter words should never appear in a manuscript, but that they may signal places where we can make our writing better, stronger, more powerful by showing rather than telling.

Honesty

Finally, a quality of good writing is honesty. The idea of honesty in writing—particularly honesty in fiction—often caused confusion and discussion in my classroom. No, honest writing does not mean that everything one writes must be factual or that one must record events and dialogue exactly as they occur. So, how can a fictional story be honest? By expressing honest thoughts, feelings, and behavior that is true to the human experience. Even in way-out-of-reality sci fi and fantasy, writing is often at its most powerful because of honesty. And moments when we convey true, honest thoughts, feelings, or behaviors—ones that are not pretty or heroic or glamorous—are often the moments in a novel that evoke the most powerful emotions, or the biggest laughs. Those honest expressions of humanity are what readers connect with most strongly. We recognize our own human frailties and flaws and relate to them, sympathize and empathize with them. And this can lead to a powerful, unforgettable connection with a character and their story.

In this passage from another one of my YA favorites, ELEANOR AND PARK by Rainbow Rowell, Park realizes something unflattering about himself: Park rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into his pillow. He’d thought he was over caring what people thought about him. He’d thought that loving Eleanor proved that.

But he kept finding new pockets of shallow inside himself. He kept finding new ways to betray her.

This honest recognition of ugly qualities within himself feels so real, so authentic, so believable, and it makes the reader connect with him powerfully and makes his love for Eleanor feel even more authentic and strong. No wonder ELEANOR AND PARK is loved by so many readers.

Remembering and continually refreshing our awareness of these four fundamental qualities of good writing—focus, specific details, showing-rather-than-telling, and honesty—can help make our writing not only good, but powerful.

Please comment below if you have thoughts or questions on qualities of good writing and how to put them into practice!

Tapping Into Your YA Voice

by Alexandra Alessandri

If you’re like me and you write across age categories, you might sometimes find yourself muddling up the different voices in your head—even if your characters come in loud and clear. It’s only natural, I suppose. Spend enough time with one age group and you start sounding like them even if you’ve officially moved on to another. (This happens to me in real life, too, by the way!) And even if you don’t write across age categories, sometimes the voice just. Isn’t. working.

So what’s an author to do when they need to get back in touch with their YA voice?

Here are some things I do (not necessarily in this order and definitely not exclusively):

I remember my teen years

I might start with tapping into my memories. Most of us probably have pretty strong reminiscences of our teenage years. After all, it’s a time when we’re really figuring out who we are and what our place in this crazy, hectic world is. For me, those years play in the background like an old black and white film, sputtering at times, and at others, complemented by photographs and stories.

Sometimes these memories need some help getting dislodged from my brain, so I journal. I do simple prompt exercises, geared at remembering that specific time period. One of my fave memoir writing books is Natalie Goldberg’s Old Friend From Far Away. I skim through it, choosing prompts that might target memories and experiences from this specific time. Then, I write for about 10 minutes per prompt, trying to really embody my teen self. The first exercise might feel like adult me remembering the past, but the more I write about those years, the more my teen voice becomes discernable.

If you don’t have the book (or you’re struggling finding some prompts online), here are some good and useful ones:

• I remember and/or I don’t remember
• Where is home?
• The first time you fell in love
• First kiss
• First heartbreak
• Who was your best friend?
• Your best and/or worst teacher in high school
• A moment you thought you were beautiful
• A moment you thought you were ugly
• A moment you were in trouble in class
• Write about a time you lied
• Write about your biggest mistake in high school
• Write about a relative during your teen years

The idea is to let your brain focus on a memory specifically during the teen years that fits the prompt and to write for at least ten continuous minutes without worrying about spelling, grammar, cohesiveness, etc. Just write the memory down, trying to be as detailed as you can in the voice you remember.

That wasn’t so painful--er hard, was it?

I also look at old journals

When I was a kid and all through my adolescent years, I was an avid journaler. I wrote everything down in general spiral notebooks, and when I ran out of space in one, I’d move on to another. I’m lucky I still have those spiral notebooks with my scribbles, secrets, and poems, and if I’m particularly stuck, I revisit those memories.  

I might also revisit old photo albums or yearbooks, triggering memories of my high school years.

I observe and record

Tapping into my memories is great, but it’s been (!&^*%$&#%@*^#%@) years since I was a teen.

While experiences and themes can be universal and span generations, if I’m writing about teens today, I need to be familiar with teens today. If you’re a teacher or a librarian, or if you work with teens in any capacity, then you have a golden opportunity to observe and record things teens might do or say and what technology they might use (though not actual names and specifics because laws!). You can get a sense of what rings true with today’s teen that might be different from when you were that age, or on the flip side, what holds universally true. You’ll get phrases and slang and attitudes that might escape you. And in doing so, you embrace the teen voice.

Even if you don’t work with teens, there are plenty of places you can go to observe and record. Head to the mall or the park or the movie theater or anywhere in your town/city where teens meet regularly.

Another place you might be able to observe teens (albeit in written form) is online. Social media sites like Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Snapchat are great. Public online forums also work, especially if you’re looking for testimonies of teens going through specific experiences, like illnesses.

Finally, I read a lot and watch movies

As Stephen King has said, “If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write.” This is just as important to your craft as it is to your genre and age category. Read YA. Lots and lots of YA. Don’t just stick to the classics; read newly released YA and read a variety of it. If you have teens within your circle of family and friends (or within your workplace), ask them what books they’ve read recently they loved—and then go study those.

Similarly, watch movies or TV shoes that feature teen characters and read magazines tailored specifically toward teens. Study these. Compare and contrast them to the novels you’ve read and the teens you’ve observed or know.

The thing to keep in mind is that there is no one right way to tap into your teen voice and most often, I do all of the above until I feel the voice coming to me easily. I might start with remembering and journaling, but I’ll also read and observe the teens around me. I’ll also talk with teens in my life and I’ve found that they are almost always happy to answer my questions. They want us to get it right!

Happy writing!

Wielding Words like a Warrior

Words are gorgeous, glorious things. They have the power to convert, uplift, tear down, and shatter. They have the ability to evoke strong images and emotions that leave us blubbering messes for days. They also have the gift of hope, nestled between the folds of their robes.  

As wielders of words, we have amazing power at our fingertips!

When I’m writing my first drafts, I try to focus on the characters and the story. I’m still careful with word choice, but I don’t let my inner editor take over. If I can’t find the right word immediately, I use a stand-in.

But when it’s time to revise? That’s where the real magic happens.

Here are some tips to help you shine those words until they are the best, most powerful words they can be.

Choose active verbs

As you read through your manuscript, pay attention to verbs you’re using. Weak verbs can water down your fabulous characters and plot, while strong, active ones can create powerful images with fewer words.  

Consider variations of the verb to walk: gait, pace, tread, amble, stroll, hike, march, saunter. Each of these offers a different visual. Someone who is marching has a very different aim than someone who is strolling.

On a similar note, to be and to have verbs (e.g. is, was, were, has, had, have) tend to water down the images. They’re not wrong and at times they can be perfectly good and necessary. But if you’ve got a page full of these, you’re cheating your reader from a visceral experience.

And verbs like see, feel, and hear process sensory descriptions for your reader, also telling instead of showing. Again, a handful throughout the manuscript is fine, but too many close together can be problematic. Consider the following:

Maria saw an endless ocean in front of her and cool water pooling at her feet. She smelled the saltiness in the air. She heard the waves crashing against the shore. (31 words)

Now consider this revision:

Maria ambled to where the cool water pooled around her feet. The salty ocean spray lingered in the air and the waves crashed against the shore. (26 words)

If Maria is at the scene and we’re in her POV, then we know she’s the one seeing, smelling, hearing. We don’t need to be told as well.

Avoid wordiness…

As shown in the above examples, weak verbs and verbs that process sensory descriptions lend themselves to wordiness. The more concise you can be, the better! Using two or more words for something that could be said in one adds mileage to your word count and zaps power from your writing. You want every single word to count.

Some ways to combat wordiness is to comb through your manuscript for places where you’re being redundant or where there are too many words strung together to say something simple. Read it aloud, too. This helps catch wordiness your might miss when reading silently.

Consider the following:

Maria fell onto the bed exhausted, having stayed up until three in the morning. “I’m so tired,” she moaned. “I’m never going to wake up tomorrow.” (26 words)

And then consider a more concise version:

It was three in the morning when Maria collapsed on her bed. “I’m never going to wake up tomorrow.” (19 words)

“Three in the morning” and “collapsed” show exhausted. There’s no need for her to also say “I’m so tired” and by cutting out some of the words, we’ve reduced the word count by 7. Sometimes, we fall into a trap of redundancy without even realizing it. Consider for example, the following:

She nodded her head.

You can only nod your head, so “her head” is redundant and wordy. Removing these takes two words off your word count!

Passive voice can also lend itself to wordiness. Passive voice is when the subject is receiving the action instead of doing the action. It will make use of a past participle verb form and will often have “by” introducing the noun or noun phrase doing the action. For example, consider this sentence:

Maria was driven to the doctor by her mother. (9 words)

Here, Maria is receiving the action (she’s being driven) and “by” introduces what should be the subject (her mother). And we see the past participle “was driven.” Changing this to Her mother drove Maria to the doctor removes 2 words from that phrase. It doesn’t seem a lot, but if you’re counting, we’ve eliminated 16 words in the examples here. Do this page after page and you’ll have a tighter manuscript.

…and excess adverbs

Stephen King has famously said, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” Adverbs are not inherently bad. They serve a function: to describe a verb. The problem with adverbs, however, is that they tend to tell what can be better shown and they tend to be overused. Too many adverbs too close together becomes wordy. Instead of relying on an adverb to tell the reader, aim for stronger verbs and more vivid nouns.

Consider the following:

Albert walked nervously.                                VS                    Albert paced.

Susan spoke loudly.                                        VS                    Susan shouted.

Lola wept bitterly.                                          VS                    Lola wept. “It’s not fair!”

Sometimes, you might add a handful more words, as in the case of example #3 above. This is not a bad thing so long as the result is a stronger image and the usage is as sparse as it can be.

Quality vs quantity

At the end of the day, your focus when revising should be on the quality of words and not the quantity. Your words should serve your characters and plot, and they should be wielded with precision. Avoiding filler words like adverbs and other qualifiers as much as possible will lead to stronger, tighter manuscripts.  And software like ProWritingAid.com can help with strengthening your story at the sentence level.

Happy writing (& revising)!